Spreading our News….
Up until our home study was approved, Jim and I had opted to keep our plans to adopt a secret. We had to tell a few people, as we needed reference letters to complete our home study. We chose a few trusted non family members, who happily wrote glowing letters attesting to our positive character traits. We were humbled by their kind words, and are grateful to know so many wonderful people.
Our home study was approved just prior to Thanksgiving. With so many things to be thankful for, we happily added that to the list, and decided to share our news with our extended families both near and far. Although I am not a fan of “standing in the spot light,” sharing our adoption news is much bigger than my own personal issues of being the center of attention. It was a real joy to see tears of happiness and excited faces when our family found out that we would grow by two feet in 2014, but as expected some people did not feel as “over the moon” as others.
It’s hard not to hold any negative feelings to the “nay sayers” when you believe so deeply you are doing something amazing. However, I have to remember that each person is entitled to their own opinion, and we are not looking for approval from anyone else. The call to action we received from God is not easily heard by every ear. Besides, we have had several months to research, plan, and digest all the information on adoption. Some people need more time to get on board than others. Some people may never join our ride. This will not slow our movement.
One thing we heard was that it would be too hard to really know a child that didn’t share the same genetics, and that it’s much easier to see why people act the way they do when you can say, “Oh, that’s just what your father would say.” Jim and I can see this point of view, as we ourselves are constantly laughing about our own son’s character traits and attributing them multiple different family members. It’s fun.
If we fully subscribed to this type of thinking, then we’d be saying it’s impossible to really connect with anyone who doesn’t have the same genetics as us. Our spouses, best friends, colleagues….everyone would be beyond our realm of comprehension because we cannot “see where they come from.”
Adoption is filled with unknowns. Agreed.
Jim and I choose to focus on what we do know about our future daughter, and not what we don’t know.
#1) Our daughter will not look like us, but we will think she’s unbelievably beautiful.
#2) Our daughter’s birth parents are not able to care for her, but we will proudly do so.
#3) Our daughter will have minor/correctable medical problems, but we have resources to fix/help them.
#4) Our daughter is facing a life of poverty. We will change that.
#5) Our daughter will have been overlooked by many, but
………we will choose her.